When I saw the title, I definitely wasn't expecting this perspective you shared. I really like how you broke this down! Usually when we hear "your feelings are valid," it's often associated with someone not being mindful of your feelings and emotions (i.e. calling someone "too sensitive").
But you're right that it can also apply to when people allow their feelings to take lead instead of using godly sense.
And I love how you incorporated what the Bible says about the heart. The world is constantly pushing that "follow your heart, it won't deceive you" message (especially in Disney movies). Don't listen to your heart, listen to Christ and His Word.
Thanks so much Ashante! Im glad you can appreciate it. Yes the title is meant to hook people hahaha, i know its kinda spicy 🌶️ and I don’t know how ppl will respond but like you said, and like that dating x substack note I shared, we are not for everyone and not everyone is for us. And thats totally fair. And good, actually. It truly is a filter of finding like-valued people 🫶.
Yeah I was hesitant to put in the verse in there at first, but then I thought, no no no, I gotta write what changed me. So that’s what I’m learning to do. Soon as I saw your posts too, I was like: Oh! One of us! Lol. Thanks for being here. i appreciate your presence! ❤️
Mission accomplished on creating an attention-grabbing title! When I saw it, my first reaction was, "Wait a minute...huh???🤨 What does she mean? Let me find out what she's saying!"😆😆
I'm glad you did include the verse! While there will always be people who don't want to hear about God, we can't let that stop us from sharing His Truth with others.
I think know thyself is super important, is part of our journey and we need to get on this awareness train as soon as wr are ready to face our inner self, turmoil, inherited traumas and so on 🙏
Yes. I’m thinking how to encourage people to take this step. Because the unknown can be scary but truly, I think deep down they already kinda know—maybe… but they just need to go a little deeper or look in the mirror a little longer just to reach for that CLARITY so they can take the next steps! Thank you Gabriela for your presence here. I appreciate you ♥️🫰
Well of recent I and some friends had a little chat about what we hope and pray for in any relationship we get into. One of us said something about not wanting series of relationships and breakups. Another thought it might be a way to learn lessons and get stronger. For some reasons I just kept thinking about it. Why? It was that they wanted to hook up, they felt something for eachother. You butterflies, giggles, excitement,etc not just once, twice but more than six times and they still get heart broken. Are they doing something wrong? Somehow I just thought maybe they shouldn't get together no matter how intense the chemistry is. It could just be a fleeting desire strong enough to decieve the heart.
Oof.. yeah… When people keep finding themselves in a heartbreak cycle, I can think of 3 things:
1. Boredom or lack of fulfillment.
When we’re not feeling particularly engaged or finding fulfillment in our life, it’s easier to get caught up in chasing highs—especially the kind that come with attention, novelty, or the fantasy of someone new. If we’re not plugged into something that gives us real purpose or fulfillment, it’s easy to fall into these habits. So it’s a form of escape from ourselves.
2. Responses to trauma
Sometimes, the chase is less about excitement and more about distraction. Hookups can be another way to stay distracted from things we haven’t processed yet. And sometimes, distraction feels safer than facing the hard truths that’ll sting but free us later.
3. Equating love as feeling.
We were taught to “trust your gut, follow your heart,” so when we feel that instant/intense connection, we think its a divine signal: “this must be it.” But feelings aren’t the same as truth. And sometimes we end up trusting our emotions more than we trust the Word of God. So its important to get in the Word, if we’re not in the Word, we’re in our thoughts and our feelings—keep mistaking chemistry for clarity.
When I saw the title, I definitely wasn't expecting this perspective you shared. I really like how you broke this down! Usually when we hear "your feelings are valid," it's often associated with someone not being mindful of your feelings and emotions (i.e. calling someone "too sensitive").
But you're right that it can also apply to when people allow their feelings to take lead instead of using godly sense.
And I love how you incorporated what the Bible says about the heart. The world is constantly pushing that "follow your heart, it won't deceive you" message (especially in Disney movies). Don't listen to your heart, listen to Christ and His Word.
Very insightful article you shared Cathy!
Thanks so much Ashante! Im glad you can appreciate it. Yes the title is meant to hook people hahaha, i know its kinda spicy 🌶️ and I don’t know how ppl will respond but like you said, and like that dating x substack note I shared, we are not for everyone and not everyone is for us. And thats totally fair. And good, actually. It truly is a filter of finding like-valued people 🫶.
Yeah I was hesitant to put in the verse in there at first, but then I thought, no no no, I gotta write what changed me. So that’s what I’m learning to do. Soon as I saw your posts too, I was like: Oh! One of us! Lol. Thanks for being here. i appreciate your presence! ❤️
Mission accomplished on creating an attention-grabbing title! When I saw it, my first reaction was, "Wait a minute...huh???🤨 What does she mean? Let me find out what she's saying!"😆😆
I'm glad you did include the verse! While there will always be people who don't want to hear about God, we can't let that stop us from sharing His Truth with others.
And you're very welcome!
Thats so encouraging to hear I really appreciate that! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I think know thyself is super important, is part of our journey and we need to get on this awareness train as soon as wr are ready to face our inner self, turmoil, inherited traumas and so on 🙏
Yes. I’m thinking how to encourage people to take this step. Because the unknown can be scary but truly, I think deep down they already kinda know—maybe… but they just need to go a little deeper or look in the mirror a little longer just to reach for that CLARITY so they can take the next steps! Thank you Gabriela for your presence here. I appreciate you ♥️🫰
Loved it
It just reaffirmed some of my thoughts
What are they if you dont mind sharing…
Well of recent I and some friends had a little chat about what we hope and pray for in any relationship we get into. One of us said something about not wanting series of relationships and breakups. Another thought it might be a way to learn lessons and get stronger. For some reasons I just kept thinking about it. Why? It was that they wanted to hook up, they felt something for eachother. You butterflies, giggles, excitement,etc not just once, twice but more than six times and they still get heart broken. Are they doing something wrong? Somehow I just thought maybe they shouldn't get together no matter how intense the chemistry is. It could just be a fleeting desire strong enough to decieve the heart.
Oof.. yeah… When people keep finding themselves in a heartbreak cycle, I can think of 3 things:
1. Boredom or lack of fulfillment.
When we’re not feeling particularly engaged or finding fulfillment in our life, it’s easier to get caught up in chasing highs—especially the kind that come with attention, novelty, or the fantasy of someone new. If we’re not plugged into something that gives us real purpose or fulfillment, it’s easy to fall into these habits. So it’s a form of escape from ourselves.
2. Responses to trauma
Sometimes, the chase is less about excitement and more about distraction. Hookups can be another way to stay distracted from things we haven’t processed yet. And sometimes, distraction feels safer than facing the hard truths that’ll sting but free us later.
3. Equating love as feeling.
We were taught to “trust your gut, follow your heart,” so when we feel that instant/intense connection, we think its a divine signal: “this must be it.” But feelings aren’t the same as truth. And sometimes we end up trusting our emotions more than we trust the Word of God. So its important to get in the Word, if we’re not in the Word, we’re in our thoughts and our feelings—keep mistaking chemistry for clarity.
Does this help?